No Ordinary Day
by DarkLadyAddams
Summary: Set with the characters of the 1964 television series. Please offer reviews.
1. Chapter 1

No Ordinary Day

As Gomez practiced his sword swallowing Morticia sat in her stately chair, just finishing knitting the thirteenth sweater of the day. With a sigh she stared at her talented husband thinking that this was just another ordinary day. With both kids away at college and she and Gomez growing older, the magnificent mansion wasn't as lively as it had been years ago. Grandmama passed on in the grandest manner of a bottle rocket colliding with her broom and Lurch, whose duties were significantly reduced, spent most of his time at the movies. A loud boom and the falling of plaster shook Morticia out of her trance, reminding her that fourth occupant of the house was also trying to break the monotony of the day.

"Gad! Now that was a ten!" exclaimed Gomez while wiping off the sword. "That Fester definitely knows his TNT". "Oui" replied Morticia, honestly not meaning to throw her husband's libido into overdrive. "Tish! That's French, you know that I'm not responsible for my actions." Gomez may have gained some years on him, but when it came to his beautiful bride, he could still be on her in 1.8 seconds. "Tish, let's have a go in the cave, your moans echo lovely in there". "Later, darling, later. Whilst Lurch out, I must really get to the kitchen and prepare your dinner". With that, Gomez calmed back down. All these years, his wife had kept her word to him and he knew that later would certainly be worth the wait.

Unknown to all, this day was about to test just how far an Addams will go to preserve their way of life.


	2. Chapter 2

The car drove around the block for the fifth time that evening. The two occupants, Tom and Bill, were discussing if they had everything needed and if indeed tonight would be the night. New to town, they had quickly heard of the richest family in town. Gomez Addams was a financial genius. With the family's old money invested, he had new money rolling in 10-fold. Other crooks had said that it was too dangerous to consider robbing the place, with stories of explosions, torture devices, wild animals and even reports of people seen going into the house and never coming back out. That was not enough to dissuade the two, it was a big house, surely they could snoop around quietly and not be noticed. Surely the rumors were not true.

As far as Tom and Bill could tell, they weren't even sure if anyone lived in the old house on the hill. During their survelliences they never seen anyone moving about. No head count of who actually lived there. If they were going in, they were going in prepared for anything. 1:ooAM would be the time and after a few more beers each courage would be their middle names.


	3. Chapter 3

At 1:30 in the morning, Gomez, Morticia and Fester were in the playroom relaxing before retiring to bed. Gomez slid up to Morticia wrapping his arms around her waist then moving up to cup her breasts "Cara Mia to remind you it is now later". Morticia turned around, pressing her body into Gomez and raking her nails along Gomez's face "Yes Bubala, too bad Uncle Fester is on the rack, I could use a good stretching". "Can't you two ever give it a rest? I'm in the room!". At that time, all three heard the sound of glass breaking. "Great Scott, Lurch must have forgotten his key again" exclaimed Gomez "Let's go ask the ole boy how the Werewolf from Mars marathon went".

Tom and Bill were both wondering what the hell they had gotten into. The flashlight beams were revealing some very odd displays. Who the heck would think that a two-headed turtle or a leg hanging from a marlin's mouth would be considered tasteful much less valuable. With the rays of light exploring new surroundings, the last thing the crooks wanted to see were three pairs of eyes staring at them.

"I say ole man, is there anything we can help you with?" asked Gomez. "I don't think that they are here to fix anything Gomez, I haven't called a repairman, did you Morticia?". "No Uncle Fester I did not, even though the furnace has been acting up. Maybe they are psychic repairmen". "Are you?" asked Morticia, tilting her head sideways waiting for their replies.


	4. Chapter 4

Tom and Bill looked at each other, paused, then drew their guns. "This is a robbery, let's all just take it nice and slow and no one will get hurt". Gomez puffed on his cigar and chuckled "Who sent you? Was it Hillard? What a practical jokester". "Look old man. This ain't a joke!" shouted Tom. To prove his point he discharged the gun in the air. Morticia gasped, Fester hid behind Gomez and Gomez put his cigar out in his pocket and asked "Alright, tell me what you want so you can be on your way?"

Tom stepped forward aiming his gun at Gomez's head "We heard you got money and gems around this dump, where are they?" Gomez motioned towards the desk. Bill tried to pull on the drawer. "It's locked!" Tom, keeping the gun at Gomez's head, shoved him into the desk. "Open it!" When opened stacks of money were visible. The crooks greedily shoved it all into their bags. "If there is this much here, there must be a lot more around". "Yeah, it could take us all night to find it" agreed Tom who had taken the time to really look at Morticia. "Maybe you can keep an eye on these two kooks while the lady shows me where it's all stashed". With that said Tom ran the barrel of the gun down Morticia's cheek and stopped at the vee of her neckline.

Gomez panicked, aside from fearing that Lionel would win over his wife's love, he never had to worry about a man breaking the matrimonial bond that he and Morticia have shared for 23 years. Sure he noticed that other men leer at her but he was always in control of the situations. Now, this guy was looking at her like a sailor back from a two-year leave at sea. "I'll give you everything in this house, I have hundreds of thousands in bills and coins! Please let me lead you to it".

Morticia was petrified. One look at Gomez and she knew that this was a dire situation. She wanted to cry, she wanted to snap her fingers to make it all go away and she really thought she was going to become physically ill.


	5. Chapter 5

Fester was in shock. He really didn't know what to do. Sure if he had his gun he could shoot em in the back. "Who am I kidding" he thought to himself, all he really wanted to do was jump thru the window, climb up his treehouse and curl up in a ball. Here he was in his own home with one man holding a gun on him and Gomez and the other guy acting like Morticia was the prized loot. Sensing that Gomez was about to explode, Fester tried the impossible reasoning with a lunatic. "Gomez" whispered Fester. "Gomez, calm down!" It was to no avail, as soon as Tom started pulling Morticia towards the playroom Gomez lunged toward them. Bill cocked his gun and dared Gomez to come closer. During the mêlée, Morticia was screaming, Fester was tugging on Gomez and Bill was unsteady...Pow!

Gomez fell back into Fester and they both slid down the wall to the floor. "Gomez no!" screamed Morticia. "Let me go! Let me go!" echoing all the way down the hall. Fester grabbed a tablecloth and starting pressing it on Gomez's shoulder. At least that's where he hoped the blood was coming from. "Cara Mia, Cara Mia" was all Gomez would say. The commotion from the playroom made him almost wish that he would die instead of being tortured by what he knew would change his Tish forever.

Morticia thought about fighting for the gun, if her beloved Gomez was gone then she would not be far behind him. Then she thought about the children. How devastating it would be for them to lose both of their parents along with possibly an uncle. And what if Gomez was okay and she perished. He certainly would not be far behind her then. What if she just froze up, shut her eyes, let him do with her as he pleased. Maybe they would be content with the money from the desk and leave. She had been a virgin when she married Gomez and the thought of another man trying to take what Gomez treasured most was not permissible.


	6. Chapter 6

Morticia did a quick scan of the room looking for anything that could combat the gun in his hand. By time she caught sight of one of Gomez's sword, Tom had pinned her up against the wall. His heavy breath of stale alcohol so close to her lips was making her gag. "You're one hot mama you know that" as he ran his hand down her leg. The tightness of her dress suddenly made her feel as though she was naked. Apparently, he didn't appreciate the second-skinned material either because before Morticia knew it he had grabbed the bottom of her dress and ripped it to her thigh. "Now there, we can actually get somewhere". When he reached between her legs Morticia reacted by clawing his face with her long red nails. As she turned to find the sword he grabbed her hair yanking her back against him and reminding her that he had a bullet with her name on it. He forced her over the rack attempting to undo his pants while trying to keep his finger off the trigger of the gun. He had unwittingly given her the advantage of the ripped dress as Morticia was able to stomp on his foot with her spiked heel and then spinning around to deliver another kick to the groin.

Tom dropped the gun, grabbed his crotch and swallowed the bile that was bubbling in his throat. Morticia immediately took control of the gun but before having the chance to aim it Tom wrapped his hands around hers attempting to wrestle the gun away. A single shot rang out.

Bill, who was still guarding Gomez and Fester, hollered out to Tom "Tom? Tom? Can you hear me?" "Why did you have to kill her? I wanted my turn too you know". No answer. Fester sat stone-cold on the floor. Here was his niece and nephew fighting for their lives and all he could do was pray that this nightmare would end. Gomez, still weak, was only able to keep repeating Tish. When he saw Morticia entering the room from the secret panel he knew that her soul was coming to collect his. What Fester saw was a woman possessed with hatred determined to send satan another house-warming gift. Morticia made a beeline to Bill, pointed the gun to his head and with no remorse pulled the trigger.


	7. Chapter 7

Dropping the gun, Morticia ran to Gomez kneeling down to cradle his head to her bussom. "Gomez my love, are you okay?' "Oh, Cara Bella, is it you in flesh and blood?" "Oui Bubela, Fester please retrieve the ointment and some fresh linens. Fester? snap out of it!" "Oh yes Morticia, right away". "Tish, did he?" "No my love, now let's get you well".

Everyone jumped when the front door opened, were there more of them? In walked their seven-foot butler back from his night out wondering what the heck had transpired here. "Oh Lurch, we've seemed to have made a little mess in here and in the playroom, could you please see to that tonight?" said Morticia in the manner of all her other requests to him. "Oh and Lurch" adding Uncle Fester "Don't forget the wet spot by the wall".

Morticia would never take their ordinary days for granted again.

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